Awakening from an Unconscious Life

“Yoga is an ancient and magical practice that met me where I was and nurtured me back to life.

Yoga gave me peace in a world filled with suffering.”

I was born surrounded by confusion and fear. I don't know if I came into this world conscious, whole, and pure like so many people perceive babies to be or not. If I did, it's safe to say that light was snuffed out at a very early age. Don't get me wrong, I had everything I needed on a physical level to survive and for that I am grateful. What I did not have were the coping skills and tools to navigate my way through a world filled with suffering. I sought love, acceptance, esteem, safety, comfort, and peace from my parents, friends, teachers, schools: all things external. None of these sources gave me what I needed. 

As I got older I turned to drugs and alcohol. And it worked for a while. For the next 20 years, I relied on comfort from drugs and alcohol. I was trapped. Nothing compared to the peace and ease I felt from taking a drink or a drug. The disease of addiction consumed my life and propelled me into a world of chaos and unconsciousness that seemed endless. I was stuck in an endless cycle of desperately trying to escape discomfort and fear. And the tools I used were killing me. 

One day, people came into my life offering a way out. They taught me the tools and skills to live happy and healthy. I found yoga.

Yoga has been an indispensable piece to my recovery, not just from drugs and alcohol, but from the need to control and to escape. In my first Yoga of Recovery class, the instructor spoke the words in my heart that I never knew could be said out loud. The stillness that washed over me as I gently settled into savasana was profound. I knew I was home. 

I began going to class every week and looking forward to yoga on the days between classes. Little by little, I was able to let go of the fear and the need to control. Yoga allowed me to let go of all of the things that no longer served me and I didn't even need to know on a conscious level what these things were. That's the beauty of it! 

Yoga is an ancient and magical practice that met me where I was and nurtured me back to life. Yoga gave me peace in a world filled with suffering. The gift of my practice has been the gift of the experience of love, acceptance, esteem, safety, comfort, and peace within myself. I am finally comfortable and at home within my own body. 

The lessons I learn on my mat translate into life and allow me to find peace in the midst of discomfort. I no longer need to escape and have learned that I can face my fears and recover. Yoga promises that when I cultivate a regular practice and connect with my breath and body, I will find peace. And I have! 

It turns out I was looking for love in all the wrong places. I was looking outside myself when all I needed to do was look within. I no longer turn to drugs, alcohol, food, sex, overthinking, or control to experience peace. Yoga has given me the tools and skills to look within and see my truth. My true nature is peace. This peace has magnified and multiplied in my life in innumerable ways. I have been given the gift of a happy and sober life and I am eternally grateful. My heart is full and my life is now devoted to sharing this love and this peace, this yoga, with all who will have it. 

If you are struggling with addiction or directly affected by someone who is, know that you are not alone. Peace is your birthright and there is a community here that can be tapped into for support. Do not hesitate to reach out. And remember, yoga is here for you always.

Andrew is a certified 200-hour RYT, a yoga of 12 step recovery (Y12SR) certified yoga instructor, and a certified yoga nidra instructor. He specializes in vinyasa flow and Y12SR informed classes. Since realizing and experiencing the benefits of yoga, Andrew dedicates much of his time to teaching and sharing those same benefits to all who seek. He recently opened his own studio: Align Yoga, Rocks & Reiki in Church Hill. Practice with Andrew this fall on Sundays at 9:30 am beginning October 10. Register here.